summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
