The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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