I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
This is the high leading the old right now
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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