I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
im six kinds of drunk right now
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
