I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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