Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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