Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize