Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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