Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I believe in your delicious
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
