I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize