im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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