So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
These 21 People Came Up With Hilarious Excuses For Their Hickies
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good