Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child