Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'll put lettuce on them
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.