This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
That reminds me...we need to get swords
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.