We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
