butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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