hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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