If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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