Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
