Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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