This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
