Don't you send me to vm
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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