she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
