We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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