I wish I could punch you in the face.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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