He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
