K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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