hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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