bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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