in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
