Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
