If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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