just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You brought string cheese to the strip club
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
