WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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