He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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