We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize