I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
