but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just sucked dick on a ferry
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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