I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
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