I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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