would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
