Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
