I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
