she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
