a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
