Your tits are I can't wait for
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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