the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
