I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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