Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize