I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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