He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
so let's talk penis.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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