hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
