Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
