I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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