I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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