I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
