i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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