Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
