I want to have your abortion
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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