We won't sleep together?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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