It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
