Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
