Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Randomize
