did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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