how can u be prego again
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
