I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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