Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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