you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
