I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize